Bagel of Love

“Fuck Auckland!” says Chris from the Shrugs.
“Fuck Auckland and fuck ironic mullets!” says Robyn.

Ok, so some very cool friends of mine are going to London on Monday and were having farewell drinks at the (not inappropriately chosen) London bar. There was lager and mushy peas (not as good as the mushy peas from that pie cart in Newcastle, but still quite good), and good company and a jazz band. What’s a white boy jazz band doing playing at the London bar?

After a few hours the remaining hardcore went to the Kings Arse. The exciting thing about the ‘Arse (apart from the fact that the Shrugs were playing) was that the ceiling has been raised, and the stage has been enlarged and raised. It’s, like, a proper rock venue, man.

There was a band playing, but I can’t remember their name. Their bass player threw his bass in the audience, but didn’t seem particularly angry. Next was Rawer. They were really loud. So loud that – and this is the first time I’ve ever done this – I went outside to get away from the noise. Actually, I have done that before. When I was about two years old I went outside during my brother’s christening complaining “much noise! much noise!”. All those horrible people singing horrible hymns.

But tonight the good people known as the Shrugs were making the good music. There were quite a few covers in the set, and they should have done more originals, they especially should have played “The Hollies” cos that just rules. But they played “Exhibit B” and that was so bloody good. I love the Shrugs so much.

Next was Xanadu. They have one of those strap-on keyboard things. I thought those were banned in the ’80s, but it turns out they’re still around. Xanadu managed to make the strap-on keyboard thing sound like a guitar sometimes. They seemed to have lots of girl fans. Very good.

I want a bagel. A bagel of love.

Urbania

Late night weekend TV viewing is just not the same now that M2′s gone. The movies TVNZ are now showing aren’t even good ones. “Highlander” is on tonight. No, thank you. I have “12 Monkeys” on DVD to watch instead.

I saw “Punch Drunk Love”. It’s like if the character that Adam Sandler plays in most of his films (child-like, violent) lived in the real world. I also have a suspicion that it was PT Anderson’s attempt at making a Coen brothers film and a Hitchcock film. Oh, and an Adam Sandler film. I’m not sure if it worked. Like, there were moments where it was good, but other parts where things seemed too dark and dull. PT Anderson is good with tension. There was that scene in “Boogie Nights” where they go to that guys house to (buy cocaine?), and there’s that freaky guy letter of bangy cracker things, and that was really full of tension. There’s some of that in “Punch Drunk Love”, but done differently. I saw PT Anderson’s first film “Hard Eight” a few weeks ago. That’s really simple and effective.

The first bit of Broadway in Newmarket – the bit between the roundabout and Khyber Pass Road, is possibly the most unpleasant bit of road in Auckland. It’s narrow, there’s lots of traffic that’s always crawling along, there are multi-storeyed buildings on each side blocking out the light and a train goes under it. I waited there for a bus today. I waited for so long that the horrible shittiness of that part of the road became an urban symphony (etc). Or maybe I took comfort in knowing that, according to the book my mum’s cousin wrote, the side of the road with the pool/cinema/carkpark/McDonalds used to be all park. Then the council build the pools, then a few years later built the car park, then the cinema came on top of the pool building, then the McDonalds in the bottom of the carpark. Fortunately little triangles of park remain at each end. Wait, how is that comforting?

Robyn says no to extending the Victoria Park motorway overpass.
Robyn says yes to a tunnel under the park.

Oh Henry

I had a dream last night about Henry Rollins. I was just looking at the official Rollins web site. He’s touring Australia in April/May doing spoken word shows. There’s a show in Newcastle, but no sign of any New Zealand shows. But then, there was no Melbourne show listed either. Oh, fingers crossed.

I’ve seen Rollins do spoken word performances here twice. Once was at the Powerstation and it was very dark and serious and he got pissed off at some wanker who kept talking. Then I saw him a couple of years ago at the Regent and that was brilliant. It was just so much fun and funny and smart and cool. That is one of the reasons why I heart Rollins.

I saw “The Recruit”. The set up for the film is really good, all CIA/secret agent training stuff. But after a while it just turns into a boring run-of-the-mill Hollywood action film. Bang bang shoot shoot. If only a film like that could be resolved in a way that was as cool as the beginning.

Thursday night is so empty without M2. Instead there’s a gay movie showing. That’s gay as in homosexual, and gay as in bright and cheerful, and gay as in hopelessly uncool.

Oh, potential secret project a go-go! And I feel like growing my hair long.

Play hey hey

I saw a play called “Blue/Orange” tonight. It’s about two psychiatrists and a mental patient and how they all play each other. It’s really well written and I found it very satisfying. Unlike the last play I saw, this one had an interval.

Glamour

I’m mentioned in the February edition of Onfilm magazine. How very glamourous it is to be mentioned in “New Zealand’s film, TV and video magazine”.

But that’s all it is, just a mention at the bottom of page 18. A friend of mine made a short film last year and I had a small part in it. So small that I didn’t have any lines, unless you count maniacally giggling as a line. So now the film is in post-production (whatever that means), which entitles it to be listed in the post-production column of the production page in Onfilm.

Great, I can add this to my CV.

Speaking of CVs, today I saw a man and woman sitting in a cafe. The man was looking through the woman’s CV. I could see him flicking through page after page of various merit certificates from high school. Ok, so after that John Davy business people are more suspicious about proof of qualifications, but is an employer really going to demand proof that you really actually worked in the school canteen in 1997 and 1998, or will just a mention in your CV be enough. Yeah, like that.

Not Kraw, Kraw.

Dr Kraw didn’t used to get much email, but what email did come was from people who got the joke and would write asking for advice with their self-pollution problem.

But now Dr Kraw is getting a lot more email and it seems to be mostly from American teens who think it’s completely serious and are totally outraged. Most of these writers come to the defence of rock music, and alcohol, marijuana and premarital sex is often defended too. However, homosexuality and communism is rarely mentioned.

Surely there’s a gay 15 year old communist who’s about to stumble across the Dr Kraw web site and write an email of outrage. Something like:

dear “dr” kraw

who do u think u r to say that communism and being gay is WRONG???? i bet u r secretly gay and a communist 2. i am gay and i have been for a year. i like cock and im not afraid 2 admit it. i also believe in distribution of wealth and no communist do not eat cold gruel or rape and pillage!!!! i think u should think about what u r saying bcoz u could be offending people with your stupid words!!!!

honeyb4u

I’m getting sick of all these outraged emails, so I’ve removed all the Kraw email links and put in a guestbook instead. I’m compiling the emails I’ve already received into another “Ask Dr Kraw” page so the good doctor will be able to dish out more advice for your entertainment, er, education.

Chroo, chroo

I went to Girls Day Out. I object to paying $15 entry to be condescended to. It was boring, too. I had more fun lurking around the alley waiting for Ja Rule. The only really fun thing was parking in Cornwall Park and walking to the showgrounds instead of paying $5 for on site parking. I think I’ll write more on it later.

Meanwhile, here’s a conversation I overheard outside the record store on Friday.

Dude 1: Ow, who’s in there, bro?
Dude 2: Ja Roow, ow.
Dude 1: Eh?
Dude 2: Ja Roow!
Dude 1: Oh, chroo.