Monthly Archives: April 2003

Numero

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1. Kim Gordon is now 50. It’s not quite time for Sonic Youth to change their name to Sonic Oldies, but in nine years’ time when Steve Shelley turns 50, they should consider it. It should be noted that Kim Gordon still rocks hard. It should also be noted that I went off Sonic Youth about six years ago when I was talking to a 19 year old Smashing Pumpkins fan who was getting into Sonic Youth because Billy Corgan had cited them as an influence. It should also be be noted that “Goo” and “Dirty” are the best Sonic Youth albums, and anyone who reckons their pre-Geffen stuff is better is a poser.

2. I just watched “Logan’s Run” on DVD. When “Minority Report” came out Spielberg was going on about how they created the future world by taking the stuff we have now and projecting it into the future. Well, y’know, that’s also what the designers did when they were creating the 23rd century utopia of “Logan’s Run”. Only it looks very much like 1976. Like a 1976 mall. I expect in 30 years’ time “Minority Report” will look the same. Oh how we will chuckle at the cheesy special effects.

3. I was at a juice bar today and I ordered a smoothie. I paid for it with my credit card, but their machine did not accept credit card payments. It was really busy, so both the girls working there were busy making all the orders, and no one noticed that my transaction hadn’t gone through. I stood there with a ten dollar note in my hand waiting to be asked for an alternative method of payment, but it didn’t happen. One of them went up to the machine, ripped off the paper with the error message printed on it, then went back to making smoothies. When mine was made the girl gave it to me and went back to making more. Oh well.

4. You know what I’m really sick of at the moment? The New Zealand music scene. This is rather bad timing as May is New Zealand Music Month. I think I might have to not listen to any radio, not watch any music TV, not read any music press. Yes, I may make it to June with my sanity intact.

5. Oh, there’s this great scene in “Logan’s Run” where Logan and Jessica, after having been soaked with water, find themselves in an icy winterland. They find some furry animal skins to wear, but Logan suggests first that they take off their other clothes so they don’t have the cold, wet clothing on. This of course means that Jessica must show us her boobies. Then moments later, after the freaky mirror robot comes along, they put their clothes back on. Now that is actual gratuitous nudity. None of this pretend gratuitous nudity that my generation prides itself on.

6. Speaking of nudity, oh how scandalous it is to see the Big Brother housemates showering naked, and how nice those ones are who shower in their swimsuits or underwear. But then, hey, isn’t it normal to shower in the nude?

Over the show

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The first episode of the new Big Brother series aired tonight. OMG yes. I’m so addicted already. I’ve signed up to the web site and I’ve already caught up on the stuff that’s happens during the 24 hour delay between the show screening in Australia and New Zealand.

My two favourite annoying people care Carlo the loud, obnoxious soccer slut and Belinda the high heeled hairdresser. My favourite non-annoying people are Claire the bisexual PhD candidate and maybe Benjamin because when we last left him he was all alone in the round house.

What’s exciting is that one of the BB housemates who’s yet to enter the house is a fat lady. Of course she’s going to end up in the house because seeing someone that much overweight showering in the outside shower would make for excellent television.

Within minutes of the housemates first entering the square house, someone started singing that Big Brovas song. I hope that was the last time.

In solidarity for the 12 housemates I have decided not to leave the house for the next three months. Except for the times that I go out, that is.

(Remember “Kiwi Flatmates”? We prefer not to.)

Thank you, thank you.

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I dreamed last night that Martin Scorcese wanted me to be his girlfriend. I was like, “but dude, you have a wife.” And he was like, “that doesn’t matter.” I wasn’t particularly attracted to him, yet I was thrilled by the idea that this excellent film director would want me to be his girlfriend. But then I kept getting him confused with Francis Ford Copolla and then I woke up. That’ll teach me to not fall asleep with my electric blanket on.

Progress has been made in the content manager search. I want something that will let me easily update my web site. I could use something like Blogger, but most blogging things create annoying URLs like www.secret-passage.com/2003/03/28/ or even worse PHP urls like www.secret-passage.com/secret.php?new.template. That’s horrible. I don’t want question marks in URLs.

So I was originally going to write something in PHP. “PHP is easy! It’s really easy!” all the geek boys said. But then I tried to start doing stuff with it and realised that it was a meaningless, confusing, brain-hurting mess. So then Dylzno said he was writing something for his site that I could also use, but he hasn’t done that. Now he’s going to be adapting a previously written blog thing that should work nicely and not have any bullshit URLs.

The church building across the street is (I think) for sale. The church has run out of money and is going to sell it and have the new owner remove it. Then a new building with shops on the street and a church at the back will be built. The local residents association got all pissy about it. Someone seriously suggested that the church convert the building into a cafe. Yes, because what Mt Eden needs now is another latte factory.

Apparently the church is lovely on the inside, but on the outside it’s white and nondescript and pretty boring. It doesn’t really add anything to the area. The really excellent part is that most of the people complaining about the church being removed aren’t regular church-goers. They just like the idea of having this eye candy of an old building down their street.

A good show

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The WBC played at Cafe 223 tonight. It was a bloody good show for three particular reasons.

1. The venue was comfortably full.
Cafe 223′s upstairs room is smaller than the King’s Arse, but bigger than the Temple. By the time the WBC started playing the room had filled with a selection of punk arses, rock boys and girls, and a few old drunks who’d wandered in off the street. It’s really cool that the WBC is getting so popular that it can be the only band playing and get an audience that size.

2. Good sound.
Really nice and clear. The mix was good, and vocals were clear. It was maybe a little bit too loud, but the clarity made up for that. I think the new stage at the King’s Arse and also Aqua Velvet (in Raggiz) are the only other venues where I’ve experienced such excellent sound.

3. New songs.
Yes, finally, teh w00da have added two new songs to their set list. They dropped the usual intro and started right with a song. The first new song, which I think was called “Uncle Benny” was slower, but I liked it. The other one, which I think was “Trial and Error” should have been faster. It had a middle section that seemed a bit empty, but there’s great potential for a really kick-arse song. “A Message To You Rudie” was there, along with all the usual songs. I really liked “Substance” tonight. St00 says he turned up the volume of the distortion on his guitar, and I think it worked because the song had an extra kick to it. It went off, mate.

I was in Magazino today and I noticed that Bust, my favourite magazine in the whole world, was in the gay section. Ok, Bust is more lesbian/bi friendly than your average women’s magazine, but it’s not a gay themed magazine. In every issue there’s a porno story called the “One Handed Read” (ha ha). I doubt a lesbian magazine would have “the hard ridge of his penis” in an erotic story, y’know. But there Bust was, sitting next to all the couple of lesbian magazine, and the many gay men’s magazines. It’s got a little in common with both of those types of publications, but more in common with such women’s magazines as Jane, which was sitting in the women’s magazine section on the side wall.

I was looking through some ICQ logs and discovered that a few weeks ago I’d used the word “riddum” in serious conversation. Ok, cool.

Flashback

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To commemorate Anzac Day, I ate Anzac biscuits on Anzac Ave.

After that I wandered down the hill and up the other side to the museum. I think Anzac day is the only day the museum’s compulsory donation is waived, so, woohoo, I saved $5. I spent most of my time there looking around on the third floor.

The Colonial Auckland display has always been once of my favourites. When I was little I used to go into the haberdashery and pretend that I was a 1860s lady buying several yards of the purple fabric with flowers on it, then, OMG, suddenly I was transported forward in time to the 1980s and was very confused and lost. Like “Freaky Friday”, but nowhere near as cool.

I know a fellow who claims to have had a root in Colonial Auckland.

Then I wandered through the Scars On The Heart section. The bits that always get me are the holocaust gallery, the quote from the man who says that when he returned from the war no one ever asked him what it was like, and the walls of names. So many names.

There’s also the spectacular wall in the World War 2 section that has a giant swastika painted on it. It’s such a powerful image. It’s just so full of energy and strength. I felt oppressed standing next to it. The giant sun of the Japanese flag felt more embracing and warm.

I also like how the memorial alcove for the New Zealand Wars has had the metal letters that formerly said “MAORI WARS” changed to “NEW ZEALAND WARS”. It feels like a bit of denial of history. The new letters are a little wobbly, and the marks in the marble where the old letters were attached are still visible.

I had a look around the cenotaph in front of the museum. There was a selection of flowers and wreaths from various organisations and countries. St John’s Ambulance had a card with their flowers that just had their logo and slogan “The first to care”. It seemed quite inappropriate, almost offensive at that time. Surely the family and friends of the soldiers are the first to care – because they are always caring?

Later Dylzno rang me up. He was in town, bored, so I recommended that he see “The Good Girl”. A couple of hours later he rang back saying that I should have warned him about Tim Blake Nelson’s penis. Ah ha ha.