He told you not to massage his back

Today I was at St Lukes when I overheard the following part of a conversation between two teenage guys.

“That guy, the guy who always comes to our practices – the pretty guy, the guy who’s real pretty – he’s gay. I know cos his cousin told us that this nephew walked in on him and Johnny and they were both naked and they were both lying there naked and when they saw him they both jumped and he was, like, “I told you not to massage my back!” He’s gay even though he’s got a girlfriend even though he’s been going out with her since third form. He’s probably bi. He’s at least bi cos he was like, “Don’t massage my back!” and his nephew saw him do that with Johnny and they were both naked.”

Sad, rad.

I’ve just heard the sad news that Paul Hester, the former drummer from Crowded House, (among other things), has been found dead in a Melbourne park, having taken his own life.

Of all my Crowded House/Paul Hester memories, the one that comes to mind was from an article in RTR Countdown magazine from 1986. The article was about Crowded House’s success in America and their new American fans. Illustrating the story were photos of some fan mail from America. On one letter, written in black ink on red paper, was “Paul is rad!!”

And that is the best way I can think of describing him.

The Easter Show

After spending the first two days of the Easter break working, and getting into a bit of decompression from work to non-work yesterday, I decided to go to the Easter Show today.

I was trying to work out when the last time I went to the Easter Show was. I’m picking some time around 1990 because I remember a) the Body Shop had a stall there to let the people of Auckland know that they would soon be opening their first shop in New Zealand, and b) one of the special entertainment guests was Double J and Twice the T.

But then most of my show experiences were with the Winter Show in Hamilton, which involved all the usual Easter Show things, but also cold temperatures.

Walking around the showgrounds today, I realised that little really changes from year to year, from city to city. There are the same old clattery rides, the signs proudly proclaiming that the company running the rides had been doing so for over 50 years, and, yeah, it looks like they’re still using their original equipment. Not to mention the people who run the sideshows. Well, there’s just this sort of desperation to them, as if they couldn’t get an office job, selling drugs just lead to trouble, but they do ok at enticing people to throw balls at the ducks.

I walked through a door into the Shrek show and it was horrible and boring so I left.

I sat and watched some dog trials for a while. I remember back in the bad old says when “A Dog’s Show”, a half-hour weekly programme showing dogs herding sheep into pens, took pride of place on prime time television. It was a tediously boring and I hated watching it, but somehow watching actual real dog trials was, er, kind of interesting. It was tense while Merv and Chip tried to get the lambs through the course, but Chip was a young dog and the lambs got the better of him. But later Bob and seasoned pro Jeb managed to their their lambs through the course, and into the pen for a well-deserved round of applause.

I was standing in line to get a drink when a couple of aging hipster parents had a moment of passive aggression where she was trying to give him some money to pay for her share of the food they’d just bought, while he rejected it, saying there was no room in his wallet. Then they both turned and saw me standing behind them in line and did this quiet shuffle off to the side, as if they were ashamed to have been seen fighting in public.

Inside the show buildings there were displays of paintings and pottery and the usual crap vege peelers being pimped by the same old companies. Then I found an entire hall dedicated to M&Ms. As well as various M&M themed rides, the centrepiece was an M&M factory, actually making M&Ms!!!! (Except it wasn’t, but it seemed to fool almost everyone, who apparently didn’t think it was strange that a giant open vat of melted chocolate didn’t smell at all chocolatey.)

The Easter Show is full of parents who take their kids along because that’s what their parents did when they were children. They say things like, “Would you like a hot dog? I used to love having hotdogs at the Easter Show when I was a kid,” and, “If you have the candyfloss, you can’t go on the rides straight away, or you’ll get sick like I did when I was little.”

So to end my day at the Easter Show, I had a hotdog, but it didn’t bring back any pleasant childhood memories (see also: saveloys, fairy bread).

Daylight

Daylight saving ended and the next day my power bill arrived. It did indeed appear to be lower than my usage in darker months, so maybe this whole daylight savings thing does actually cause energy savings to be made (Or could it be that I just don’t use my heater in summer? Hmmm…). It was quite nice, having worked the late shift today, to finish work as the last of the sun was setting. Ah.

I watched “Campbell Live” tonight. It was rather good. I’ve never been much of a fan of the classic 7pm current affairs shows, but Campbell Live was interesting because John Campbell is a bit of a funny lad. He can be serious and do proper grown-up interviews when required, but he can also be a bit flippant.

It reminded me of previous great New Zealand television moments that combine the two – Joanna Paul and Belinda Todd on “Nightline”; Simon Dallow, Alison Mau and Marcus Lush on “Newsnight”. At the end of the show he introduced a segment where a serious actor sitting by a fireplace read an excerpt from Don Brash’s biography. Tomorrow he promised an excerpt from Helen Clark’s bio, and on Wednesday a discussion with Rove McManus about the delightful word whaka, plus there’s Jaquie Brown’s bits to come, and she’s cool.

I’m excited because Wagamama is coming to Auckland. It’s a supercool noodle restaurant. I had noodle there with Fennx0r in London, but it also comes highly recommended by Gwyneth bloody Paltrow, who reckons it’s an ideal first-date location. So there’s going to be Wagamama opening in the Metropolis building, being perfectly High Street and wanky.

Finally, here is a bit of amusement from the Polish language. These two phrases are pronounced pretty much the same:

Ser z Podlaskiej – From Podlaska district.
Ser spod laski – Cheese from under the cock (!)