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At the bus stop

He was sitting at the bus stop wearing a pink raincoat and holding a bunch of daffodils. He had agreed to meet her there at 6.30pm. He said he’d wear his pink raincoat so she’d be able to identify him easily.

He’d been there a while and she hadn’t shown up yet. Nervous, fidgety, he started [...]

A response

A reponse from the executive assistant to Richard Worth, my local MP, in response to my query about the mysterious phone call I received from the person who was trying to convince me that National wanted me to vote for the ACT candidate in Epsom:

MESSAGE FROM RICHARD WORTH
MP for Epsom and Shadow Minister for Justice [...]

Phone hex

Update 1: The results of the NZ Herald Digipoll survery were in the Herald today. The Maori Party was predicted to get three seats, but this was based upon the assumption they’d keep their electorate members, because they polled lower than the 5% they’d need to get votes the other way. If I get surveyed [...]

Tell it like it is

I’ve just emailed my local MP. I’ve never done this before, but I just received a phone call from a strange lady who was very strongly suggesting that National wanted Epsom voters to not vote for the Epsom candidate and instead vote for ACT candidate (and leader) Rodney Hide so that ACT could join National [...]

Askew

On the weekend a lady from Digipoll phoned me to ask me some questions for a poll they were doing for the Herald about how I was planning to vote.

“OMG!!!! I’m voting for Nik!!! He is sooooo hot. Did you see him on his top 24 programme? He was on fire!!!!”

Imagine my sheer embarrassment when [...]

Cracc ho

Just to add to the list of cool people I know and all the cool things they do, young Ryan has just been voted editor of Craccum, the Auckland University student magazine.

It was a landslide with the other two contenders being crushed by a mountain of votes. It possibly helped that Ryan put up posters [...]

Couching

I cancelled my gym membership yesterday. The sales guy acted like Hal in 2001 when Dave was trying to unplug him, trying all these little tricks to attempt to get me to reconsider. “If you rejoined, you’d be paying $30 a month more.” Fortunately I was tired and in a somewhat crappy mood, and I [...]

Gangsta dwarf rock

A few times an elderly man has caught my bus. He gets off at a special stop outside a retirement village. The last time he was getting off the bus, two teenage girls started giggling. I looked up and saw why – on his top he was wearing an ordinary old man sort of jacket [...]

Mountain climbing

I went to the Food Show yesterday. It was rubbish and I did not get my money’s worth in entertainment value for the $18 entrance fee. There were only two things that stood out.

A company that sold chopped onions in plastic bags displayed their goods on a dinner table, set up with cutlery, plates, glasses. [...]

Wonkatania

“The famous English scientist, Professor Foulbody, invented a machine which would tell you at once, without opening the wrapper of a bar of chocolate, whether or not there was a Golden Ticket hidden underneath it. The machine had a mechanical arm that shot out with tremendous force and grabbed hold of anything that had the [...]