Monthly Archives: January 2006

Cherries

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My iPod is magic. I was planning on buying some cherries after work from the fruit shop at the village. I got off the bus at the nearby bus stop and walked along to the fruit shop. Just at that moment, my iPod randomly chose to play the Jesus and Mary Chain’s “Cherry Came Too”. There was one box of cherries waiting there for me. I happily bought it. Magic!

(Of course, you won’t see me mentioning all the times I’ve been listening to my iPod and it’s randomly played a song with no apparent lyrical connection to what I’ve been doing.)

In other news, the anti-nuclear murals on the reservoir behind the Mobil on K Road are being dismantled, digitally reproduced, and redisplayed on that wall. The originals are going to be exhibited at the adjacent Art Station gallery, and then sold in an auction.

Do you know what this means? Yes. This is my chance to have “No Nuclear Fire For Amber” proudly displayed in my lounge.

Ticked

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It’s a census year this year, which I find rather exciting. Back in the last census year, 2001, I managed to be in the right places at the right times for both the New Zealand census and the Australian one. I like to think that somehow I’ve contributed to some sort of funding for a community arts project in Melbourne.

Anyway, there’s a bit of controversy this year because Statistics New Zealand have added a new category to the ethnicity question. This year people will be able to tick a New Zealander/Kiwi box as their ethnicity.

What does Kiwi mean? Is it a white New Zealander? A white New Zealander who, say, pronounces fish as ‘fush’ and likes Holdens and thinks that pakeha means ‘white pig’ so would never use that term to describe him or herself? I don’t know, and I don’t think Statistics New Zealand knows either.

But here’s thing – I don’t think I’ve ever ticked the New Zealand European/Pakeha box. I’m pretty sure that on at least one occasion I’ve ticked ‘other’ and written in ‘New Zealander’, and on another occasion written ‘white’.

Now, I know that my ancestors all came to New Zealand from the British Isles. I know that Britain and Ireland are in Europe. I know that technically I am a European New Zealander, but ‘European’ sounds wrong. It sounds like I should be of, say, Italian or Swiss descent. Europe isn’t just a geographic region – the name has social and political connotations that are far removed from my identity as a white New Zealander.

But now that this has been in the news, I find myself for the first time understanding what ethnicity is, yet not actually being able to define it (It’s the vibe, Your Honour). So having thought about all this, I’ve decided that this census I shall be a pakeha. Ka pai.

Choosday

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Well, it looks like National Radio aren’t going to archive the 3D Radio show that I was on back on New Years Eve, but fortunately one of my co-panellists, James from Noizyland, has kindly hosted the whole shows as a podcast (i.e. an mp3) for your listening pleasure.

[Oh - it's not there any more. OK, I'll figure out somewhere to host it and get back to you.]

Before the show started there was the long-range forecast which went on for ages. As I sat there listening, I realised that I find the National Radio long-range weather forecast to be somewhat soothing and reassuring. It probably came about from my mother always having National playing in the kitchen when I was growing up. It’s the way the place names are recited in order – Tauranga, Taupo, Bay of Plenty, Rotorua. I think that’s the same kind of feeling that Damon Albarn wrote about in the Blur song “This is a low”, which was inspired by the British shipping forecast.

However I was soon snapped out of my peaceful lull by one word – Tuesday. See, the forecast reader pronounced it really well. He didn’t say “Choosday”. He Tyewsday with a sharp T. I suddenly started thinking about my pronunciation. I’d probably say “Choosday,” and surely that wouldn’t be the only word I wouldn’t pronounce with elegance and grace.

Fortunately by the time it came for me to speak I’d forgotten all about vowels and consonants and just talked. Having listened to it now, I’m happy with the way I sound. And, after all, it’s not really about me (in my intro, Jon calls me a cultural spectator – awesome!). It’s about good radio.

Popcorn and choc-tops

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It’s a late Saturday afternoon in the toilets at a multiplex. A woman in her 50s has entered and gone into a cubicle to have a wee. Soon after her 20-something daughter returns from the ticket area and also enters a cubicle.

Daughter: Mum? Mum?

Mum: Yeah.

Daughter: King Kong’s on at 5 o’clock, so that’s quite good cos it gives us enough time to get something to eat.

Mum: Is it on at another time?

Daughter: Well, if we see it at 5, that gives us an hour to get something to have for tea. And the movie is quite long, so we don’t wanna stay up too late, especially after having a late night last night.

Mum: Yes, we were up late last night. Don’t want to stay up too late tonight.

Daughter: Yeah, or there’s this one with Jeniston Aniston in it.

Mum: Eh?

Daughter: You know Jenna Aniston?

Mum: Oh, that one from Friends? Is she in it?

Daughter: She’s not in King Kong. She’s in another movie. We could see that.

Mum: Oh. Well, what one do you want to see?

Daughter: I really wanna see King Kong. I’ve heard it’s quite good.

Mum: Ok. We’ll see that one then. I’m going to see if I can get this muck off my jumper with a bit of toilet paper.

In a nearby cubicle a stranger heaves a sigh of relief that the pair have decided against the Jeniston Aniston movie.

2005 and all

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It’s completely obscene to be up at 9am on New Year’s Day. I should be in bed, somewhere near a beach, asleep. I have to work today, and just like last year, I picked New Years Day over Christmas Day.

So yesterday I did the panel on National Radio. It was lots of fun. The show was well-structured and well-researched and Peter, James and I had lots of talk about. It’ll eventually show up on National’s website, so I’ll post it here when that shows up and you can hear me and Jon Bridges talk about how old skool I am. Word.

As far as a year in review thing goes, I’m reckoning this was the most popular thing I wrote last year. Poor Shel’.

This was my favourite day, hooray.

Last night I decided to throw a bit of effort in the way of New Years Eve and picked the closest celebratory place, Mt Eden. I got up to the roundabout where the summit road loop starts when I realised that I probably didn’t have enough time to make it to the summit before midnight, so I waited with a bunch of people halfway up.

The fireworks looked pretty good. I took some photos using the fireworks setting on my camera, but this is about the best of the bunch. I think I need a tripod.

“Ow, those were stink fireworks,” said a lady standing near me. I don’t know what she was expecting, but whatever she didn’t get, I did.