33 on 22
by Robyn
Hey, guess what! It’s my birthday on Saturday. I’m going to be turning 33 on the 22nd, which has a nice sort of symmetry to it.
The Saturday before Christmas is one of those days that tends to get owned by the Yuletide build-up, so I thought I’d deal out a subtle (SUBTLE!!!) reminder this year.
33 is apparently one of those panic ages – you go, “OMG! Jesus was 33 when He died and look at all the stuff He achieved in His life! I’m 33 and no one capitalises pronouns when they talk about me! I suck!” But I think that’s kinda silly. I mean, the deal is that Jesus is perfect, so what kind of wretched life would you make for yourself if you tried to be perfect all the time. Mm.
But there is one thing that’s cool about 33 – LPs spin at 33rpm. And everyone knows that vinyl is really cool.
Anyway, if you want to give me a present, these are two things I like:
- Bad poetry.
- Postcards.
You can email me or post to PO Box 68 603, Newton, Auckland 1145. Merci.
I think you should have a party in four months’ time. Cos that will be a cooler age.
33 1/3! Yes, that is much cooler. Possibly even cooler than when I celebrated my 10,000th day. Put the needle on the record.
I think you should have a party in four months’ time. Cos that will be a cooler age.
My partner did this. And it was cool, in a very very dorky kind of way.
So I can get you a present for your birthday AND Christmas?
We are going up to Whangarei on Saturday – perhaps along the way we will stop and buy many dorky postcards to send to you.
Yes – in fact that is what we will do!
Perhaps we will write bad poetry on them.
I will have a bday dinner sometime in January so let me know when you are available. I am turning the big 29 … oh wait – thats not an exciting age at all!!!!
Yes! Dorky postcards from scenic northland are good!
I ain’t going nowhere in January, so I’ll most likely be available for yr birthday celebrations. 29 is the last year of your youthful 20s, so make the most of it. Nanadom awaits!
We have been practicing our bad poetry – so far we are thinking of Warkworth because it has a river …..
The river flows, black like my heart
but the river isnt black
its brownish
the river is as brown as my heart is black
and tidal
my heart isnt tidal
the river is but if my heart was tidal it would always be
low.
The End
But what if the bad poetry heart was tidal!
Your cruel affections
flow
in and out of my heart
like the tide
of the muddy
muddy
river.
Leaving only the silt
of bitterness
behind.
AWESOME
If it’s bad poetry you’re after then seek out ‘The Stuffed Owl’ edited by D.B.Wyndham and Charles Lee. Originally published in 1930 and still one of the finest collections of delightfully toe-curlingly bad poetry.
Also, the ‘Faber Book of Parodies’ (ed. Simon Brett, 1984) has a lot of literary hilarity. And these are good reasons to hang out in 2nd hand bookshops although that pastime never requires justification.
Oh, and happy birthday.
regards
Peter Hoar
Ooh, thanks for the titles. I shall keep an eye out for them the next time I’m in a nice old second-hand bookshop. And thank your for the birthday wishes.
Did somebody mention Wankworth?
All signs point to Wankworth!
I always thought Wellsford must be the worst place to live. There is/was (last time I went through it was missing half of it) a sign when you come through from the North that says “Welcome to Wellsford”.
I always want to add “We apologise for the inconvenience”.
There is a town whose existence I do not understand and that town is Kaiapoi. Levelled by Te Rauparaha, and now a commuter township just off the motorway immediately north of Christchurch, with a cheery nose-to-tail commute, daily for those who work in town. People! It’s not like we have an urban space problem round here!
Back on topic, I trust you will check your P.O. Box on Monday as well as Saturday, should the post be slow.
Mel: The worst/best thing about Wellsford is that the name apparently came from an acronym – the first letter of the names of a number of settling families: Watson, Edger, Lester, Levet, Simpson, Foster, Oldfield, Ramsbottom and Dibble. I suppose it could be worse – Ramsbottomburg? Dibbleton? Watsonville?
H Bird: I just looked at a map. Kaiapoi seems a real anomaly on the landscape. Why would anyone live there and work in Christchurch. And, I’ll be in Raggiz on Monday, but I will check the box on Saturday.
OMG Peter Hoar! One of my most favouritist lecturers! Robyn, you know EVERYONE!
Jo: This is what happens when you call your www cybertron page a “blog”. People want to be down wit’ the bloggiz.
Hmmmmmm I spent a few years living in Kaiapoi. My first school was Kaiapoi North Primary. However it has been many years since I was last there.
Also as I enjoy random bits of useless information I did know that about Wellsford, but can never remember the people’s names.
Its officially the 22nd so Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday – I am reading Lord of the Rings and would like to point out that 33 is the “coming of age” for Hobbits.
Sooooooooo ……
Happy Hobbit’s Coming of Age day.
wonderferret: Thank you! Maybe I’ll see you tonight at Blam Blam Blam.
Mel: Thank you too! Though I am concerned – I’m not short and furry, so does this affect my coming of age?
I missed it. Fell asleep intending to have an afternoon nap…Woke up 10:45pm….