Napier 1: The giant kidult scifi cross

So, I’d come back from Japan, had spend a few days relaxing at my parents’ place, but I wasn’t quite ready to return to Wellington. I wanted a nice seaside town to explore. I chose Napier, evidently unable to stay away from seismic sightseeing.

To help me with my exploring, I decided to use the assistance of ol’ Maurice Shadbolt and the Shell Guide to New Zealand. I didn’t have a copy with me, but the Napier Library had the 1976 edition, so I copied the Napier page and let Maurice be my guide.

I didn’t realise it at the time, but while the 1976 Shell Guide has exactly the same number of pages as the original 1968 edition, its Napier entry is almost 100 words longer. Only one location is dropped (the site of the battle of Omarunui), with the extra hundred words highlighting new attractions, suggesting that in an eight-year period, Napier suddenly grew into a tourism wonderland. Well, I had a few days in which to explore and see if this was still the case.

One new addition was the Waiapu Anglican Cathedral of St John the Evangelist. Consecrated in 1967, so too late for the first edition, it was described by Maurice as “interesting”. I like interesting things, so I had to pay a visit.

The original brick cathedral collapsed in the 1931 earthquake, and work didn’t start on the replacement until the late ’40s. This means it managed to escape the art deco styles of the immediate Napier rebuild and is one of the few historic buildings in Napier that isn’t art deco.

It’s a cool mid-century modern style, light and open. But here’s the thing – I have a mild claustrophobia involving large enclosed spaces, which usually means that cathedrals tend to make me feel really uncomfortable. The Napier cathedral was even worse – its interior was massive, made even larger by its almost flat roof.

I stuck to the lower edges of the building, keeping calm as I carried on around the building. I’m not sure, but if I was a regular churchgoer, I’d probably have to take a Valium every Sunday. Or perhaps God would sort me out.

Above the altar, a giant cross was suspended. It was made of wood and had a semi-opaque red centre. This was meant to symbolise the love of God, but it looked more like a prop from a 1970s sci-fi kidult TV series. I kind of expected to find a secret lever that would make the red thing start glowing, and the whole cathedral would turn into an alien spaceship, letting the stranded aliens return to their home planet after they’d crash landed in 1931.

1980s scifi kidult prop

But even though the cathedral is all clean and modern, there are remnants of the destructive past. The cathedral features a stained glass window constructed from smashed pieces of glass from the old cathedral, the bits salvaged by an eagle-eyed local woman. There’s also a cross made from old nails from the bombed Coventry Cathedral. It seems that it’s important to keep a connection with the past devastation, no matter how tempting it can feel to make it seem like nothing bad ever happened. Note well, Christchurch.

I was looking forward to visiting the Hawke’s Bay Museum and Art Gallery (it is “good”, says Maurice), but it was all closed for a massive and ambitious expansion and overhaul. Hopefully the new museum will be better than just “good”.

So with the museum off limits, I turned to Maurice for another attraction to visit. He recommended Napier’s “fine botanic garden”. I had to google it, but there it was – on the side of the rather steep Hospital Hill. I decided to start from the top and work my way down, which first meant a long slog up Chaucer Street.

About halfway up the street the suburb started to look eerily familiar. And then I realised – it was the location of the 2009 shootings. The house that gunman Jan Molenaar barricaded himself in is still there. From the street, it looks like an unremarkable suburban house. It’s only the sheet of plywood replacing one of the garage doors that suggests something unusual might have happened here. A cat contently sat on a deck railing, just like any other subrban New Zealand house.

Finally I reached the top entrance of the botanic gardens. A pictogram at the entrance seemed to indicate that there’d be mohawked punks at the gardens, but then I realised it was a likeness of a cockatoo. Exotic birds? Cool!

I made my way down through wet winding paths. Maybe if I’d had a botanical guide who could talk me through the flora on display, then I could fully appreciate the botanic wonderland. But on my own, it all just seemed like lots of plants.

Things got more interesting as the land flattened out. I came across an aviary – ah, the exotic cockatoos! Except as I walked along, it became obvious that the cages were empty. Near the end, there was a large hole in the mesh. Inside a collection of sparrows gaily played on the perches and playthings that had previously been the domain of the exotic birds.

It was like a scene from a post-apocalyptic bird movie, where all the cockatoos were dead, leaving the street sparrows to freely roam the overgrown remains of the former luxury quarters of their fallen avian foes.

Around a corner I found another aviary full of budgerigars. Australian in origin, this was confirmed by the giant mural of outback desert scenes decorating the back wall of the aviary. Apart from the fact that the desert isn’t the natural habitat of the budgie.

Birds

There was plenty of other urban fauna to enjoy – a large dovecote full of albino pigeons (apparently these are known as “doves”), and a duckpond full of ducks. There’s something quite nice about sitting in a park and watching ducks.

The botanic garden felt like it had seen much better days. And if it was worth a mention by Maurice, then it must have been rather enjoyable in its heyday.

I was intrigued by the slice of 1970s Napier that Maurice was offering, and he had more curious recommendations for me to investigate. Would the rose garden still be in bloom, and what exactly was the mysterious Lilliput village?

Avalon

Recently TVNZ announced its intention to sell the TVNZ Avalon studio, moving “Good Morning” to Auckland, and with possible redunancies for the rest of the staff.

While TVNZ had previously made no secret of its intention to sell Avalon, it still seemed to come as a bit of a shock. Because, you know, it’s Avalon. For anyone growing up watching New Zealand television in the ’80s, Avalon had an almost mythical quality, perhaps a modern, Hutt Valley version of the Arthurian Avalon.

I worked at Avalon Studios for almost three years. It was the one thing that made me actively go for a job based in suburban Lower Hutt – because it wasn’t just suburban Lower Hutt; it was Avalon.

The garden

Avalon Studios opened in 1973 and was the headquarters of Television One, with South Pacific Television (TV2) being based in the Shortland Street studios in Auckland.

But gradually more and more of TVNZ drifted north, the newsdesk moved in 1980, with the 1989 opening of the Television Centre in Auckland being the undeniable sign that things were slowly but surely heading to Auckland.

The Avalon tower block and some surrounding land was sold off in 2003, leaving just the studio and backlot in the hands of TVNZ, with only a handful of productions based there. And that’s what it was like when I started working there. Even though there were people working in the building, it felt really empty.

Avalon always felt remote. Not only was it in suburban Lower Hutt, but both the studio and the tower block were surrounded by acres of grass, then later by car parks, and as that surrounding land was sold off, by buildings. From the street, there was always a long walk to the front doors.

The 110 bus passed by Taita Drive, but even that was a bit of a walk. And not to mention the nearest train station, Wingate, was a one-kilometre walk, passing by the same dull suburban streets, and crossing busy High Street.

Suburban

Of course, Avalon was built in the era of the automobile, when it made perfect sense to build a television studio out yonder in suburban hinterland. Old timers talk of a shuttle bus put on for staff in the heyday, but there’s also talk of staff members regularly losing their license after driving home drunk after boozing up at the bar. Yes, there was a bar at Avalon – again, a product of its era.

It’s grand, it’s iconic, but externally, Avalon is unfriendly to the person with two legs who likes to walk. Apart from a garage, a dairy and a Chinese takeaway a few blocks away, there were no local shops. There was nowhere to go at lunchtime, unless, perhaps, you felt like entertaining yourself with a walk around the car-scale landscape of the studio.

A similar fate has fallen to the old Central Institute of Technology campus in neighbouring Upper Hutt, also built in 1973. Back then, the Hutt Valley seemed like a smart location for a polytech, but now, who wants to drag themself all the way out to suburban Upper Hutt when they could be studying at one of those cooler city campuses?

One day I was talking with a workmate about how much better it would be if the studio had been built in central Wellington. But, actually, even Petone or central Lower Hutt would have been fine. Just not empty old suburban Avalon.

But it wasn’t just the suburban isolation. The surburb of Avalon is surrounded by Naenae to the south and Taita to north. While both are nice enough on a good day (particularly the bakery at Naenae that does those amazing pork sandwiches), it always seemed that whenever there was a report of an armed-offenders call-out, it would be just a few blocks away.

Avalon’s cafeteria was a shock when I first experienced it. It aptly enough had a ’70s-style general theme of fried foods, and the occasional nod to the ’90s with the odd panini. A request for salads saw the introduction of a ’70s-style lettuce and tomato mix, and – this is so weird – posters of fresh fruit and vegetables.

A photo of food

Sometimes I’d walk up to the top of the 10-storey tower block. Since TVNZ sold it, all the floors are now leased to different businesses. I’d walk up the echoey, pebbled stairs and the closer I got to the top, the more empty the building felt. I eventually stopped doing the walk because it just felt too spooky.

Some of the studio control rooms had been kitted out with the latest broadcasting technology and redecorated to match, but other parts of the studio were still partying like it was 1973.

One of my favourite spaces was a seldom used control room that I’d take a shortcut through to some back stairs. The control room was lined with lush wood panelling, making it feel more like an exotic sauna in search of a sleazy suburban cocktail party.

And despite lashings of ’80s, ’90s and ’00s attempts at redecoration, it was always comforting to find little decorative touches from the ’70s that had survived.

Decor

The one thing that visitors to Avalon seem to remember the most is the long, long corridors. They were decorated with large photos from previous Avalon productions, but these glory days were dated, with nothing newer than the mid ’00s. Another corridor celebrated even older days, with photos of long forgotten shows hosting by presenters sporting giant hairdos. (Why do people always seem to have giant hair in the past, no matter the year?)

Avalon always seemed to just be hanging out. It could look all fancy when “Dancing with the Stars” was in full flight, but around the corner there’d be some ratty old faded pink carpet, paint peeling and air conditioning that never seemed to quite work properly.

Hallway

But there were ghosts. Remnants of a time when people could smoke at their desk, when woman had to wear skirts and make coffee, and when television presenters weren’t allowed to speak with a New Zealand accent.

And despite its rough-around-the-edgesness, Avalon is still a great production facility. I’ve heard a few people have their eye on it, so hopefully it’ll find a new owner that’ll treat it right.

Maybe Avalon is symbolic of the television industry as a whole – moving from extravagant studio productions to simpler things. Like a switch from a giant studio camera to a shooting on a handheld digital camera Maybe it’s just something that has to happen.

When I left my job at Avalon, I was sad to say goodbye to all the good people that I worked with – many of whom now face an uncertain future. But I was also sad to be leaving Avalon Studios itself. Working there was like meeting a childhood idol and finding that while their fame had faded, they were still as charismatic as ever.

Walking across the car park for the final time that day, I maximised the cheese and played that song on my iPod.

And the background’s fading out of focus
Yes, the picture’s changing every moment
And your destination, you don’t know it, Avalon

Tokyo 7: C’est la vie

I was getting a little bit tired of the comforting daily routine of seeing parks and going for coffee at the local Doutor cafe. I was ready for the big, fun stuff, but all that was on hold. I had an idea.

I called Air New Zealand to see if they could change my flight to come back a few days earlier, figuring things would be booked out. But I was surprised to discover that there were seats still available on the next day’s flight. So obviously no mass exodus of fleeing New Zealanders.

On the last full day, we paid a visit to Akihabara, the electronics district. I was excited to visit the gigantic Yodobashi camera store. It seemed to stock every model of every camera made by every major camera manufacturer. For a moment, I wished I was one of those camera nerds with the bag packed full of accessories. But I like my cameras compact and full of functions.

I had a play with the Canon G12, but didn’t buy it because, well, there was nothing really wrong with my old faithful G9. Only the lens of my G9 got munted that very night (I’m going to pretend an earthquake-damanged girder fell on it, rather than it just being old and overused), making me wish I had reconsidered buying a new one.

The river that could

My final night in Tokyo was fun. I went to a local izakaya bar with a small group of fellow gaijin from the hotel, and a couple of Japanese speakers in the group ordered up lots of delicious foods and more frosty mugs of beer.

We were all sitting around talking about what had brought us to Tokyo, and how the earthquake had affected us. Everyone’s got their own stuff they’ve left in their home country. Some of us wanted to return to it, others wanted to avoid it for as long as possible.

Then there was some nice sake, and I was instructed in the ways of drinking sake like a proper lady. (I’ll get there one day.) It was a really good way to end my time in Tokyo.

Post-dinner carnage.

Back at the hotel later that night, James and I were up in the ninth-floor lounge and had been doing a bit of a blues jam on a one-string guitar and a glockenspiel played with a dessertspoon, when there was a strong aftershock. The building seemed to not just be swaying, but jolting up a bit. Shit.

So all of the ninth floor fled down the emergency exit, except one dude who said, “C’est la vie”. I was going to write that that’s not a bad attitude to have, but it was actually quite fun scurrying for my life down the back stairs, wondering if it was ok to use the hotel’s indoor slippers outside like that.

I was lucky that both Matt’s parents and James were leaving on the same flight as me (their original return date), so we had a group to travel out to the airport together.

The Narita Express train still wasn’t running (possibly as a power-saving measure), but extra airport buses had been put on and we quickly bought tickets and boarded the appointed bus at the appointed time. There was a little bit of traffic congestion, but we arrived at the airport much sooner than I expected.

Terminal 2 at Narita was busy but efficient. We had a little bit of a wait until the Air New Zealand counter opened, so we had lunch, during which was a big aftershock. It started as a distant rattle, which then moved through the building, shaking everything. I was pretty much too tired to be bothered reacting to it. I was so far inside the terminal that, had stuff started collapsing, I couldn’t have made my way out in time. C’est la vie. That is life.

Finally the Air New Zealand counter opened, and we sneakily were in the business class lane. Not only that, but I got to choose a window seat, and James and I had guest lounge passes via Matt’s parents’ card status. Sweet.

I heard a New Zealand man on the phone proclaiming to someone that “It’s a mass exodus! It’s incredible!” But I’ve heard the passenger numbers weren’t any more out of the ordinary from other busy times like the Golden Week holiday season. There were no crazy queues or long waits – everything was running smoothly.

Our man in Japan

So we set up in the Qantas Business Lounge (Air New Zealand doesn’t have a lounge at Narita), and spied Air New Zealand CEO Rob Fyfe hanging out there too. He was on the same flight headed back.

It was at the Qantas lounge that I said farewell to something I came to really enjoy about Japan – heated toilet seats.

It sounds really extravagant, but they’re everywhere – Starbucks and McDonald’s both have heated toilet seats. And while it first felt a little odd to my Pakeha bottom, eventually I came to enjoy its warmth and comfort, like a warm hug for your bum. At the Kotoku-in temple in Kamakura, the visitor’s centre toilet rooms were cold from the outside air. The heated toilet seat took away the chill.

Even fancier toilets will have built-in bidet functions, with buttons for the bum, man-front and lady-front. Some of them have little symbols by the buttons, others only have Japanese characters, making it a surprise bottom adventure. If I push this button, what will happen?

So finally it was time to board and I got on the plane, watched a few movies, tried to sleep, and eventually ended up in Auckland.

Mum and Dad were at the airport, as were practically all the other New Zealand passengers’ mums and dads, as well as reporters wanting stories about passengers’ EARTHQUAKE HELL.

Since being back in New Zealand, I’ve talked to people who seem to think that as soon as the earthquake hit, my vacation started sucking and maybe I moved into a refugee camp or something. But it didn’t.

It was not the holiday I had planned (not that I had many plans), but it was still an amazing experience with a lot of enjoyable moments both before and after the earthquake.

I think I’ll go back to Japan some time. While things are still pretty terrible in the north-east areas and aftershocks continue, work is being done and the new normal (to coin a Christchurchian phrase) is taking shape.

I don’t necessarily want to complete the vague plans I had before the earthquake; I want to keep exploring the lovely country that is Japan.

Tokyo 6: Parks are the friend of a weary traveller

Lots of large stores around Tokyo were closed due to things like post-quake checks being needed and staff transport concerns, but I didn’t even feel like any massive extravagant retail experiences (it’s the fate of the unemployed traveller in Tokyo). So we ended up in Yoyogi Park. We found a clearing, with a large grassy area. The grass was yellow, having only recently emerged from under winter snows.

I lay down on the flaky grass, getting bits stuck all over my clothes. In the distance, the Docomo Yoyogi Building dominated the cityscape with its classic American skyscraper styles, but in the mid-distance, a Japanese flag fluttered in the breeze. Birds flew by, swooping low enough that I could feel them whoosh overhead.

It all felt quite ordinary and yet not quite normal. Something was different.

Relaxing

Because the local trains were running on a reduced timetable, the carriages got a little squashy. Not quite like those times when gloved train-squashers are on duty to help cram everyone into the carriages, but pretty close.

I was standing, grabbing on to a handstrap, with people on all sides pushed up against me. To get off the train amid that huddle required taking rapid but small steps. It was a matter of just instinctively moving with the crowd as one giant commuter blob, before slowly drifting apart in different directions. It was quite fun, and it seemed like, yeah, it’s an authentic Tokyo cultural experience.

Too much food. Belly too full. HALP

We found an izakaya bar and ordered up plates of food based on the generally well translated English descriptions. The bar’s ordering system involved a touch pad, and this exciting technology somehow allowed us to order too much. Beer – which comes in frosty mugs and is poured by an automatic beer-pouring machine, complete with a tilt to minimise bubbles – appeared on our table seconds after we ordered it.

It was nice to just eat lots of crazy fried things, meats on sticks and lovely salmon served with a raw egg yolk. And beer. That is also good.

I was a little worried about the radiation situation. It didn’t seem like Tokyo was going to turn into a radioactive spawning ground for millions of Godzillas, but I didn’t want to risk being in town if something showed up that would give me testicles and then testicular cancer in 50 years time.

It’s strange being faced with a nuclear incident. That sort of thing felt like a remnant of the past. Three Mile Island, Chernobyl – those were from the ’80s. Surely nuclear power station meltdowns were as out as acid washed jeans and Cosby-style sweaters? Oh wait, those are back too. Damn hipsters.

Coming from New Zealand, a country that prides itself on being “nuclear free”, it can be easy to feel glad to not be reliant on nuclear energy. Except New Zealand is.

It’s the fruits of globalisation. The things we buy from overseas come from countries that use nuclear energy. And it’s that nuclear energy that means things can be cheaper than they’d be relying on other means of energy. Or if they were made in New Zealand.

We live these lush 21st century lives. We are, one way or another, fuelled by nuclear energy.

One day street

Tokyo 5: Revised edition

The rest of my time in Tokyo switched from hardcore sightseeing to more laidback mooching around.

I decided not to go to Osaka or any of the other cities I’d been planning on visiting – yes, an earthquake was kept me from the Kobe earthquake museum. I was glad that I hadn’t been able to find the office on Friday morning to exchange my Japan Rail voucher into a non-refundable ticket.

The only thing I had really wanted to do in Tokyo was visit Disneyland. But it was closed due to post-quake safety checks being needed, and the car park was cracked and flooded from liquefaction.

Because Tokyo was so far from the earthquake-affected regions, it almost felt like all the devastation was taking place in a different country. It was something I watched on TV. It was not something I experienced. My relation to the devastation felt distant, like if I was in a nearby but foreign city like Seoul or Vladivostok.

On Saturday, James and I spent the day exploring Harajuku. I also discovered I was a victim of kafunsho, a particular kind of Japanese hayfever brought on by cedar pollen – and there’s a lot of cedar around Tokyo. I was sneezing, coughing, my eyes were red and itchy – it felt like I had a cold but with none of the general unwellness. It didn’t occur to me to go to a chemist and buy an antihistamine spray until my very last day.

One of my favourite unintentional games to play was Getting Lost on the Way Back to My Hotel. I was a bit bored by the main route back to the hotel, so I’d always mix it up by taking a side street. Or at least I tried to.

More often than not, I’d end up lost, wandering the streets of Shinjuku at night, passing by interesting looking bars, occasionally stopping to get a bottle of water from a vending machine, and hoping I was heading in the right direction. Then I’d eventually spy a familiar landmark (or Google Map it) and end up at my hotel.

On Sunday, I switched hotels to the charming Ace Inn Shinjuku. It’s a capsule hotel, but with more of a social backpacker feel to it. Other guests tended to be tourists who where having a “WTF do I do now?” moment, and Japanese who were stuck in Tokyo.

We paid another visit to Harajuku. In the mid-’00s, Harajuku was known for the loligoth girls who’d dress up in crazy styles and hang out by Jingu bridge on Sundays to be all outrageous and fashionable. But I think Gwen Stefani made them too mainstream, so they’ve kind of died off. The only people left on the bridge were three guys doing the “free hugs” thing, one of whom was a perculiar performance artist called Old Boy.

Dad?

More fun was Two Rooms, a fancy rooftop bar that James remembered from his last visit to Tokyo. We sat outside in the sun and drank Bloody Marys, quietly enjoying the cool spring afternoon. Around us, expats sat drinking and eating – no one talked about the earthquake. Well, it’s nice to have a change of topic once in a while.

Leaving the bar, the maitre d’ discovered we were from New Zealand and excitedly insisted we meet the manager, also a New Zealander. So we had this funny little talk, like “Hello, fellow New Zealander! I am from Wellington! What about that earthquake, eh? Righto. Sayonara.” But he was a very nice guy and it’s a splendid bar if you’re ever in the neighbourhood.

On the street, old dudes from the local branch of Lions International were collecting for the Red Cross. I gave them some yen.

We went to Roppongi (which, if you’re a New Zealander, you pronounce Roppo-ngi, rather than Roppon-gi). It’s the good-time, party-time, on-and-on-till-the-break-of-dawn district, full of hundreds of different ways of spending all your money, thinking you’re going to get a root, and waking up with just a hangover. But, of course, because I was there, none of that happened. I couldn’t even get the photobooth to work.

Nearby was Tokyo Tower, with its top spire slightly bent from being shaken about in the earthquake. I’m glad I wasn’t up there when the earthquake hit.

Bent

When I got back to my hotel on the Friday evening, I found a table had moved about 30cm, a lamp on the table had fallen down the newly-created gap between the table and the wall, and in the bathroom, most bottles were tipped over or on the floor. I straightened everything up, and was just really glad I hadn’t been at the hotel when the earthquake happened.

I think I experienced the quake in quite a good place. Shinjuku Station is, I believe, base isolated (or a similar technology) so the effect of the quake wasn’t too severe in the building.

But I’ve heard people on the street had a much worse experience. I met a woman from California who had lost her balance and fallen over with the shaking and had injured her arm.

Back in Shibuya, we had a look around the mad variety store Don Quijote. It’s full of everything you could possibly need, and several things you don’t need, which are the ones you end up buying. I bought some fake glasses, and James bought a watch. As he was sorting out the tax-claim details, the shop assistant asked where we were from. When we said New Zealand, she gave us her commiserations for Christchurch. But, but…

We had dinner in a ramen bar in Ebisu. The chef, who had pretty good English, told us there’d been no rice on Saturday due to the delivery truck not being able to get through. But there was plenty of rice now, and ample supplies of delicious ramen.

I’d had quite a few requests from different media outlets wanting comments from me – Radio New Zealand, the Guardian, NPR, TV3, Newstalk ZB, and Classic Hits Waikato. A lot of them were hooked up via friends in the media, so I felt a little obliged to help out, but I think if I were in a similar situation again, I limit myself.

Not all of those eventuated into an actual interview, and some of the ones I did were a bit rubbish, with the reporter obviously angling for a “MY QUAKE HELL” story, with one telling me that “the shock” probably hadn’t caught up with me yet (what?).

The best interview was with Mark Bunting, the breakfast host of Classic Hits Waikato. I knew him from my old job at TVNZ, and he’s a nice guy. But as well as that, I figured it would be likely that my parents would be able to tune in and hear me. And they did.

Rooftop view