Tag Archives: birthday

Sentiment, sediment

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There was a big ol’ box at the post office. Inside it were the following items:

* Two wooden salt and pepper shakers shaped like cats, complete with googly eyes. When you tip the pepper cat up, it makes a noise like a cat would make if it was really sick. The salt one doesn’t make it, probably because it’s broken.

* A wooden mortar and pestle. Which is cool, but wood doesn’t seem like the right material for a mortar and pestle to be made out of. Possible solution: use the bowl for pot pourri and give the pestle to a special friend for Christmas but pretend it’s an exotic sex toy.

* A wooden box with a blue tile lid. It’s quite nice. I’m not sure what to put in it. If I had some cigars I could keep them in it. But I don’t have any cigars. Perhaps I should buy some?

* “Incidental Furniture” a book published in 1953 about how to make all those incidental pieces of furniture around the home. I think I need to make a radio cabinet.

* “The Autograph Man” by Zadie Smith. I’ve been wanting to read this. Hooray!

I had dinner at the OLC with Dylz, LL Cool R, Jakmes, and that other guy. Actually, I just made up all those nicknames five seconds ago. I don’t actually call them by nicknames. Sometimes Dylan is called Trixie McLicious.

Dylzno gave me a CD with a video selection of me talking about the goddess. It was at the Basque Park festival in early 2001 and my hair is short and blonde. It’s quite funny, and Dylzno has threatened to shrink it down to a small size so I can have it up on my web site.

Finally, I drove down Franklin Road. There were so many people driving down there to check out the Christmas lights that traffic was crawling. But it was ok. the slow traffic meant I could see everything. There were heaps of people walking along the footpath too. The locals were hanging out on their front porches, someone had a stand selling coffee (yeah, yeah, it’s becoming commercialised, totally selling out. T-shirts next year, perhaps?), but there was a really good vibe to it. A song by Nesian Mystik came on the radio and everything felt right, like this is what Christmas in Auckland in 2002 is meant to be like.

Vingt Huit

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1. This is the first time I’ve not actively promoted my birthday on my web site. In the past I’ve had posts and always did a couple of email reminders. This usually resulted in a few emails. This year I didn’t do that. It wasn’t like I was feeling old or ashamed of turning 28, but just that I kind of forgot about it.

2. ICQ:
D: Big day tomorrow!
R: What’s happening tomorrow?
D: It your birthday isn’t it, or is it today?
R: It’s today, you fool!
D: Oh, sorry! I forget, it’s 2 days before xmas on the 23rd, or three days before on the 22nd.. :)
D: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

3. Present run-down.
- One card redeemable at the Newton Post Office for the package sent from my parents that didn’t fit in my post office box. It seems that New Zealand Post can deliver mail on a Saturday, but can’t have any staff working there to get my package.
- Nuts. Yes, I got nuts. My new favourite guitarist from my new favourite band and all-round choice guy gave me some nuts. Actually, I had to get him a packet of Marlboros and some Coke in exchange for the nuts, but it was definitely one of the better presents I’ve received. I even got a souvenir photo!
- $20 gift voucher from Borders. This was teh flatmate’s cheating present. Borders have been giving a $10 voucher with every $100 spent, so after a massive DVD and Christmas presents spend-up, he had two $10 vouchers and now they are mine, all mine! Cheap-arse bastard.
- Um, yeah, that’s about it.

4: About three weeks ago I stopped consuming stuff with caffeine in it. I bought a packet of Panadeine and went through all the headachy withdrawal. I got through that in a couple of days, but have spent the last three weeks feeling tired and cranky. Today I had a cup of coffee and hey, it’s nice to be back.

5. Isn’t “Thug Lovin’” by Ja Rule and Bobby Brown just the coolest song ever? I mean, I thought “Down Ass Bitch” was pretty cool, but “Thug Lovin’” is the shit. What’s going on? I mean, I used to hate Ja Rule so much. (I almost wrote “Jan Rule”. Yeah, I’d like to see an artist with that name).

6. I saw “Baise Moi” ALONE, ON MY BIRTHDAY. This might seem a tad pathetic, but it is not as pathetic as the time I saw that piece of crap that masqueraded as a romantic comedy, “Serendipity” starring John “Should Have Known Better” Cusack, ALONE, ON VALENTINE’S DAY. Anyway, the novelty of “Baise Moi” was seeing full-on sex scene (penetration shots, etc) up on the screen at my local multiplex. I guess it’s like how “Deep Throat” was the acceptable porno to see back in the ’70s. The plot: two women are dicked over by various people, they each kill someone then end up randomly meeting and travel around France having sex with guys and/or killing them. It’s the kind of movie where men in the audience unconsciously cross their legs and protectively place their hands near their nether regions. But then, it’s also the kind of movie where men in the audience shift from side to side and pull their shirts down over the top of their pants.

7. Ok, cheers, that’s about it. Damn, too much caffeine. Now I’m never going to be able to get to sleep.

To Helensville and back

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I went hooning today with Mike. It was r00l choice!!!!

He gave me an early birthday present: The Maxi Tools Powermatic Tool with Realistic Movements. This comprises of the following pieces of plastic fun:

  • A saw – but with little wheels instead of teeth.
  • A hammer – it rattles when you bang it.
  • [One of those bolt tightening things where you turn in one way and it tighten the bolt, but when you turn it the other way the bolt stays in the same place] – it makes a clicking noise when turned.
  • Pliers – and they seem the least toy-like and most practical
  • A spanner – it’s one of those adjustable ones
  • A, um, piece of wood type thing with three bolts and three nuuuuutz -deeez nuuuutz
  • A really big phat nail – yeah, one of those.

Like the name says, they do have realistic movement. God knows what I’m going to do with them all. It’s too late to donate them to a needy children’s toy fund.

Actually, isn’t it getting near the time where a poor family has their home broken into and all their Christmas presents stolen (but the TV and VCR left alone), then they appear in the papers, on TV, “Our Christmas has been ruined!” etc, photos of sad-eyed kiddies, etc, etc, etc, and then some kind business donates a shitload of free (but crappy) toys and Christmas isn’t ruined.

Oh yeah, so Mike and I went out to Helensville and we got there and it was like “Woo! Helensville!” And we went to the Woolworths to buy some lunch except that all the food in the entire store was crap. I bought some potato salad (no free spoons, what kind of supermarket doesn’t give out free spoons to deli purchases?), a muffin, some ginger beer and some penguins. Mike got some bacon and sour cream flavoured chips and some honey mustard dip.

Ok, the potato salad was horrible, the muffin was even worse. I just had some of Mike’s chips and dip and the ginger beer and penguins. But most importantly, the checkout lady was crazy and Mike called her a cunt. I don’t think we will be welcome back there ever ever again.

Do you know I want for Christmas? I want that guy from that band, ok?