Tag Archives: film

Unleash your savoir-faire!

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I saw “I Spy” today with Dylan. Dylan was annoyed to see a giant cut-out for “Charlie’s Angels 2″ in the cinema lobby. I think his dislike of that stems from the fact that Drew Barrymores’s character is named Dylan. This provided him with a bit of grief during the release of the first film, so no doubt all those old feelings are coming back to haunt him. HA HA HA. DYLAN HAS A GIRL’S NAME!!!

But if he thinks he has it bad, he should grow being called Robyn and having to put up with all the Robin Hood TV shows and movies. Ha ha ha. Robyn has a boy’s name.

Ok, “I Spy”. It was disappointing. There were moments where it was really funny, but there were also moments where it was dull and I’d stop paying attention to the movie. You know there’ll be a scene in the movie where someone does something with almost comical precision, then it turns out to be a dream sequence, and their attempt to do that in real life is totally inept? Well “I Spy” was like the dream sequence. Ha ha ha! See the funny spies! If I want to see a funny spy parody I will see “Top Secret” on DVD.

Speaking of hot DVD action, I watched “Twelve Monkeys” again, but this time with the commentary track. Ok, when the film first came out I saw it three times at the movies and so I started picking up all these little details. One of the things that’s throughout the film is lots of monkey-themed items. I remember discussing this with a friend and I said that I’d just noticed that the TV in the mental hospital showed an ad for the Florida Keys. Keys, mon-key, the key to escape the mental hospital, etc. My friend looked at me and declared that I was reading way too much into the scene and, like, it was just the Florida Keys. He seemed to think that the destination of the Florida Keys had just been randomly chosen (by whom?). So tonight during the commentary Terry Gilliam himself said how great the script was with things like how the Florida Keys suggested monkeys and keys. Ha ha! I was right! Ok, I can let that one rest now.

Catering size love

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Dylzno and I did some filming today. We’re making a short video thing about Auckland. My favourite thing was standing in front of one of the billionaire boats full of drunk people and saying “The viaduct is still full of wankers, but they’re loyal, America’s Cup-supporting wankers.”

We saw a boat called Awesome. It had a bunch of drunk people maniacally waving to everyone around the harbour. I reckon that’s the sort of thing that would happen on board a boat named Awesome. Like, you’d get on board trying to be all urban and sophisticated but a few glasses of Lindauer later and you’d end up lifting up your top and demanding that some complete stranger look at your tits. This applies to both men and women.

I was accidentally stalked today! Dylz and I were having dinner in Mercury Plaza and he pointed out a dude in Breeders t-shirt, cos I’d earlier been bitching about having forgotten to buy one. Then later I get into my second favourite chatroom (choice! ch@tr00mz!!!) and this dude’s like, “Were you at Mercury Plaza today?” It turns out he was the guy in the Breeders t-shirt. How very delightfully choice.

Flex appeal

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Today at the Mind Control Cult I discovered that I’m too attached to my possessions. The charismatic cult leader sang “My Funny Valentine”. I discovered my vision.

Doesn’t that just sound fruity? Like, really, really fruity? It is, but in a good way.

I saw “The Hours” today. I was trying to work out why Nicole Kidman looked so very frumpy – it’s because she has a false nose on. She was good in this film because she wasn’t being “Nicole Kidman: Sexy flame-haired sex bomb serious actress”. She was being Virginia Woolfe. It’s a fairly heavy movie, there’s lots of emotions, but in the end everything works out in a satisfactory way. It’s a sad ending, but not a tragic one. There’s death, but it’s more about life than death.

I’m so excited because the Breeders show is tomorrow. I’ve had two dreams over the last few weeks involving seeing the Breeders play. I’m not expecting it to be like a religious experience, I’m not going to be worshipping at the Alter of the Kim and the Kelley, I just want to have a good time.

Oh yeah, speaking of drinking beer. A few months ago I was in Sydney having dinner with a cool guy in a nice Italian restaurant overlooking Darling Harbour (yeah, that happens all the time) and the waiter comes over and asks if we want to order drinks. The guy orders a Boags and asked me if I’d like some wine. Oh no, kind sir. I would like some of that finest Tasmanian lager. I slept alone that night.

Throw wool

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Last night I decided that I’d go to the anti-war march today if I woke up in time. This morning I was woken up by my neighbour talking on the phone outside my bedroom window. She was saying how she’d heard there was this anti-war march today, but she didn’t think that she was the sort of person who’d do that (but she was planning on going down to the Viaduct and seeing the yachting). I looked at the time. It was just after 10.00 am, perfect timing for the march.

I joined the march just past Vulcan Lane. At the front there were people holding signs and chanting stuff like “1, 2, 3, 4, we don’t want your bloody war!” but further along was a group of drummers doing what I think was samba drumming while people around them chanted, “no war!” to the rhythm.

I’m not sure how many people were there, but it was a big crowd. I saw a report on NZoom estimating it as at least 7,000. When the front of the parade at reached Mayoral Drive, I looked back and I’m sure I could see people still down by Victoria Street.

The march ended up at Myers Park. The original plan was for it to end at Aotea Square, but like the construction in QE2 Square, the organisers apparently hadn’t counted on the weekend markets in Aotea Square. Myers Park turned out to be a better venue because there’s trees and grass, not just vast expanses of concrete and a big TV screen showing yacht racing.

There were various speakers, and the organisers had very wisely limited speeches to three minutes each. An Iraqi nun was the first to speak. Most speakers reminded us that the war was for oil, that Bush, Blair and Howard are dicks, and that innocent children are going to die if this war takes place.

Yeah, there were some hippies there, but there were thousands of ordinary people.

After the March I headed to Aotea square. I had coffee from the Kokako stand, which I think might just have to be the next installation in the Coffee From Places That Aren’t Starbucks series. It wasn’t necessarily the next closest coffee place, but it was a sunny day and I wanted to go somewhere outside. The coffee was good, in the way that coffee is good. The sign said it was organic coffee. Word up.

Then in search of air conditioned comfort I saw “Chicago”. I saw it on Thursday as well. The difference being that this time a dude came in and sat two seats down from me and took half his clothes off. That was pretty cool. I’m glad musicals are coming back in fashion, because a good musical is fun to watch. I saw “Evita” about four times at the movies (twice with a gay guy, yeah) and “South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut” three times. I only saw “Moulin Rouge” once, but I hear it’s more fun on DVD than in a cinema. The thing I liked the best about “Chicago” was how the musical numbers took place in fantasy, people didn’t spontaneously burst into song. The costumes were so good and the hair styles were brilliant. I totally want to go and get my hair permed and bobbed. (No, bad idea).

Dylzno and I were going to see the Chinese Lantern Festival, but the streets around Albert Park were packed and there was no parking to be found so we went to the Turkish place on K Road and had kebabs. They have hookahs there. At the next table there were some guys smoking from one. I don’t know what is being smoked, though. It’s not tobacco or pot. Lack of people passed out on pillows or waking up and writing epic poems suggests it’s not opium. How very mysterious!

Special times

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First, an email exchange:

To: Robyn
From: Pat
Subject: hello

will you please email me a brochure of your chocolate rouses thanks.

To: Pat
From: Robyn
Subject: Re: hello

Whilst the caffeine and sugar in chocolate can be somewhat rousing, I’m afraid I don’t know what a chocolate rouse is.

Whether it’s a sexual term or a type of confectionary, or some bizarre concept that only exists on the internet, I don’t know, and I don’t have any brochures on the mysterious chocolate rouse to send you.

Good luck with your search for the elusive chocolate rouse.

From: Pat
To: Robyn
Subject: Re: hello

UPSSSSSSSS I AM VERY SORRY !!!! THANK YOU FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO ANSWER
I DIDNT MEAN TO ….. BYE BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

If I’d had the necessary software handling skillz, I would have got some pictures of some naked black women and put together a brochure advertising “Chocolate Rouses: These fine Nubian princesses will a-rouse you!”

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I saw “Adaptation”. I was really excited about seeing it. Like, I woke up this morning and was like, “woohoo, It’s Thursday! “Adaptation” opens today! It reminded me of this thing I wrote about vanilla over a year ago. I’m going to have to dig it out and stick it up on my web site.

The film opens with Kaufman (Cage) doing this monologue about everything that’s wrong with his life and how it would be better, if only certain things would happen. I was like “OMG, that is totally me life.” Yes, my internal monologue sounds exactly like that.

“Adaptation” reminded me of “Mullholland Drive,” in that the last 20 minutes or so is quite different from the rest of the film, and it can be interpreted in different ways. But really, if you were going to go all out and write a formulaic Hollywood screenplay, where John Laroche and Susan Orlean become lovers, wouldn’t you write a sex scene in the swamp? Well, I would. Maybe that’s just me.

—

Hey, you know how people talk about the period of time in the late ’60s and the ’70s when the contraceptive pill had been invented, but before Aids happened, when people could just have condomless sex with anyone, and it was all marvellous, blah, blah, blah, pass the disco boots?

Well, what about the time when cigarettes became readily available, when they weren’t taxed to hell, when you could smoke in public buildings, and before people had figured out that cigarettes were physically addictive and could cause cancer and heart disease? Oh yes, that would have been a very special time.