I went all out to do the goth thing and even bought some really cool make-up from Shiseido to get the pale face thing happening well. But I didn’t end up making it to the goth ball. The people who had the tickets never showed up. I had a shitty evening with a friend who was rapidly overstaying his welcome.

But the day before the ball, when I was practising my make-up, I took the photo that shows me in all my gothness. So with sexygothchick.jpg on my computer, I decided to do something truly diabolical with it. Yes, I put it on Hot Or Not.

I realised that for maximum impact I would have to create a persona to go along with it. I decided that Hot Or Not Goth Robyn would be a 22 year old goth chick. No wait – a bisexual goth chick. Yes, and her keywords would included poetry, pain and Jack Osbourne.

So I uploaded the picture and created the account. I keep getting bisexual goth chicks clicking on the button that says they want to meet me. My average rating is about five out of 10, which is nice. And a few people have even rated me a 10.

Damn, if only I really were a 22-year-old hot goth chick.