Tag Archives: politics

Phone hex

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Update 1: The results of the NZ Herald Digipoll survery were in the Herald today. The Maori Party was predicted to get three seats, but this was based upon the assumption they’d keep their electorate members, because they polled lower than the 5% they’d need to get votes the other way. If I get surveyed again, I think I’ll pick another party.

Update 2: Still no sign of a response from my local MP regarding the “vote for Rodney” phone call.

I seem to be getting a lot of sales or political phone calls lately. Last night I had a phone call that went like this:

Me: Hello?
Caller: Hello, is that Mrs Gallagher?
Me: Uh, do you want to speak to my mother?
Caller: Oh, yes please.
Me: She actually doesn’t live with me.
Caller: Oh, Miss Gallagher?
Me: Um, yeah?

He was fund-raising for some children’s hospital radio station thing. They were putting on a production of “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” and he wanted me to buy a ticket to it either for myself or for a sick kiddie.

Well, when I was a non-sick kiddie, the aforementioned Mrs Gallagher read that book to my brother and I, and I found it very upsetting when the lion died. If I was a sick kiddie, seeing a play of it would not make me feel better or indeed “help take away the pain of their daily lives,” as the phone guy claimed it would.

Tell it like it is

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I’ve just emailed my local MP. I’ve never done this before, but I just received a phone call from a strange lady who was very strongly suggesting that National wanted Epsom voters to not vote for the Epsom candidate and instead vote for ACT candidate (and leader) Rodney Hide so that ACT could join National in government.

At the start of the phone call she said she represented a group of people who wanted to see National elected government, but after the “vote Rodney” bit I got a bit suspicious and asked if she was really an ACT supporter. She sounded fake surprised when I reminded her she’d originally said she was pro-National.

She wanted me to answer some questions, but I told her that I didn’t trust her and didn’t feel comfortable answering her questions.

It probably helps that I had recently had the phone call from the nice Digipoll lady who was completely upfront about everything, so I knew that this strange woman’s evasiveness was a sign that she was hiding something.

So I’ve emailed my local MP asking him if National wants people to vote for ACT, or if that woman was insane in the membrane.

It wasn’t like this at the last election.

Askew

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On the weekend a lady from Digipoll phoned me to ask me some questions for a poll they were doing for the Herald about how I was planning to vote.

“OMG!!!! I’m voting for Nik!!! He is sooooo hot. Did you see him on his top 24 programme? He was on fire!!!!”

Imagine my sheer embarrassment when I realised she was asking about the general election, not NZ Idol.

I told her that, if an election was held “today”, I would probably vote for the Maori Party. I saw their opening address and was impressed by Pita Sharples’ charisma and enthusiasm. He really nailed it.

Then she asked me what my main election issue was. I didn’t really know, but eventually came up with transport. I now realise I should have clarified that as being public transport, so I’m probably going to end up looking like one of those pro-motorway bitches, which I am, but not as much as I’m a pro-public transport bitch.

Then she asked me if I thought “walyewss” should be taught in New Zealand schools, which turned out to be values with an accent. I said no, because the question didn’t define what these values were (Don’t talk back to yo’ momma? x = 4? Gold is $443 an ounce?)

So if the results of the next Herald poll show pro-Maori-Party, pro-public-transport, anti-values, you know it’s all my fault.

Write on

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Driving to the gym this morning, I had to suddenly brake to avoid a sign that was blowing across the road. As I got closer, I saw that it was promoting three Citizens and Ratepayers candidates standing in my local ward.

Ah yes. It’s local election candidate sign defacement time.

I’m expecting the usual to happen: the right-wing candidates signs get defaced or ripped down, while the left-wing candidates’ signs usually escape unharmed. But, of course, it’s always worth wondering who exactly is doing the vandalism. Is it lefties wanting to prevent the right-wing candidates from promoting themselves? Or are some conservative supporters getting out there and defacing their own signs in order to make the lefties look like crazy vandals?

As far as the mayoral candidates go, I noticed the following:

John Banks – His sign originally said John Banks with for mayor.com under it. Someone had attempted to deface the Banks/for mayor.com area, but had picked grey spray paint that seemed to blend in with the blue and red of the poster. Then, perhaps written in frustration, FUCK had been sprayed under John. This bit was on a white background, so it was much clearer. But the end result was like an angry eight-year-old who couldn’t come up with any better insult than “John FUCK”.

Dick Hubbard – Oh, that’s right. He doesn’t have any billboards. No, instead his name and a cartoon likeness of his face takes up a few shelves in every supermarket in this city. But as far as defacing goes, I recently binned an empty box of Hubbard’s cereal.

Christine Fletcher – Who cares about Christine Fletcher for mayor? Does anyone? Just to show how insignificant as a candidate she is this time around, her sign was defaced not by some angry anti-Fletcherite, but by some tagger who’d just scribbled his name at the top of her sign.

Oh, it’s just so hard to pick who to vote for.

Political

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I’m normally interested in politics, but I read an article in the Herald about various members of the National party and was interested in two particular things.

1. The newly appointed deputy leader of the National party, Nick Smith, has taken some time off because he is “suffering from exhaustion”. When someone like an actor or a model is reported as suffering from it’s usually a sneaky way of saying they’ve been rock ‘n’ rolling all nighty, partying every day and have been using stimulants rather than sleep to ward off tiredness. Unless there’s something very sordid going on the behind the scenes of the National party, I suspect this may be the first time a person reported in the press as suffering from exhaustion has actually been suffering from exhaustion.

2. Deposed leader Boow Unglush, oh, I mean Bill English is quoted as saying, “I just want to use my experience, which in National is fairly unique.” See, that’s his problem – he has no confidence. Every good little grammar pedant knows that being unique is like being pregnant. You either are or you aren’t, there are no degrees in between. Mr English’s experience is either unique (i.e. no one else has that same experience) or it’s not unique (i.e. other people have that same experience). But he doesn’t seem to have the cojones to talk about himself in absolute terms. Oh, how I will miss his mangled vowels.

Reality

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The grand finale of Big Brother was a little anti-climactical. I mean, Regina was a massive favourite right from the beginning. She was always the most popular housemate on the weekly online polls. The only thing resembling a shock eviction was yesterday when Daniel was evicted ahead of Chrissie. But Regina won, totally breaking the Australian BB trend where the most boring, nicest male wins.

Someone one asked me why I never write about politics. It’s basically because I don’t particularly care about politics. I don’t even know if I’m left wing or right wing. All I know is I’m not bloody centre and parties like United Future make me feel ill with their caring niceness.

But then I was thinking about the times when I am interested in politics and I realised that it’s when there’s an upcoming election. Then I thought about why politics is interesting then and I realised that it’s the same thrill that a reality show like Big Brother or American Idol gives. You’ve got a bunch of people who are competing for a highly sought after position. They have to win the public over with their skills, talents and basic personality. The public then gets to vote for who they want to win.

Watching the live results coming in on election night is as thrilling as watching the final of Big Brother or American Idol. But because the government of this country sees fit to only hold an election once every three years, my yearning for such televisual thrills is filled with reality shows.