“OMG!!!! I’m voting for Nik!!! He is sooooo hot. Did you see him on his top 24 programme? He was on fire!!!!”

Imagine my sheer embarrassment when I realised she was asking about the general election, not NZ Idol.

I told her that, if an election was held “today”, I would probably vote for the Maori Party. I saw their opening address and was impressed by Pita Sharples’ charisma and enthusiasm. He really nailed it.

Then she asked me what my main election issue was. I didn’t really know, but eventually came up with transport. I now realise I should have clarified that as being public transport, so I’m probably going to end up looking like one of those pro-motorway bitches, which I am, but not as much as I’m a pro-public transport bitch.

Then she asked me if I thought “walyewss” should be taught in New Zealand schools, which turned out to be values with an accent. I said no, because the question didn’t define what these values were (Don’t talk back to yo’ momma? x = 4? Gold is $443 an ounce?)

So if the results of the next Herald poll show pro-Maori-Party, pro-public-transport, anti-values, you know it’s all my fault.